Have you ever wondered how some people stay thin their whole life?
Are these people uber-motivated high-performing super-humans who never take a day off from their calorie-counting, exercise-heavy lifestyle?
Not necessarily. You can probably think of a thin person who does not have their life together any more than the rest of us. Or, think of a very successful larger person who does.
Are thin people thin because of genetics? Certainly genetics can play a factor. But we have the power to control a lot.
Check out my husband’s story of using technique when your genetics fail you…
I can’t sing.
I’m a very gifted musician, so I know about the importance of genetics. I have perfect pitch. I can play almost any song the instant I hear it. Those musical videos games that people spend hours practicing (like Rock Band), I can play any song on the hardest level… the first time I try it.
These things came naturally.
But when I first started recording myself singing, and listened to it, I cringed. I did not have a naturally pleasant voice, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep it on pitch.
After trying for years to develop a decent voice, I gave up. I figured that I didn’t have the genetics for proper vocal cords. I started playing in bands where I wouldn’t have to sing.
Until it finally occurred to me to look up some vocal lessons on youtube.
The very first video I found changed my voice forever. Because it had a powerful technique, a way to relax my vocal cords.
One technique can be the difference between failure and success.
Using this technique, suddenly my notes were hitting the pitch more often. My voice sounded nicer. As I practiced this technique, my voice got better and better.
Have you ever experienced something like this? After focusing on results, and failing over and over again, focusing on the techniques behind what I was doing helped me to finally see incredible improvement.
And then… the results felt like magic! They came so easily, compared to years of struggling and failing to improve.
A Sporting Chance At Success
I recently experienced this again, with basketball. I’m no good at basketball. I spent my high school years trying to be. I practiced shooting free throws for hours, but didn’t improve much. I blamed my poor eyesight, my natural lack of depth perception, poor natural instinct. Genetics.
But recently I learned a new technique. It has to do with how the shooting hand follows through. Suddenly my shots were scoring way more often. If I focused on trying to shoot the ball into the basket, I would miss half the time. If I focused my thoughts on making my hand do that specific motion, I scored way more often.
Technique Instead of Results
Focusing solely on results can leave us in an unproductive rut. If you want results, find a proven technique that works, and focus on that instead.
It’s no coincidence that I’ve been learning all these new techniques recently. Jessica has been showing me how powerful a few techniques can be. Now I apply that knowledge to all sorts of problems in my life.
Jessica has taught me some of the techniques that keep many thin people thin, even if they don’t recognize it. These techniques are shown to be successful at long-term weight management… for example, being scientifically correlated with a lower BMI.
To some people these things come naturally, the way some singers are able to sing beautifully without even trying. The rest of us have to learn.
We’re all actually born with the innate ability to eat according to our body’s needs, but some of us forget over time. Many of us actually have it trained away by well-meaning parents.
This most important technique for eating in healthy amounts and managing weight is… (drum roll please…) knowing how to figure out when we’re getting full, and recognize that being full makes us uncomfortable.
It sounds so basic. You probably think that you know how to do this. But do you do it?
Knowing about a technique doesn’t necessarily help on its own.
Practice Makes Perfect
That vocal technique worked fantastic when I tried it out. But when pressure came, like an actual performance, I reverted to my old habits. I couldn’t stay focused on the technique.
Same thing with the basketball technique. As soon as somebody’s hand was in my face trying to block my shot, I forgot about the details and just tried to get the ball in the
The key is, of course, practice. I needed to practice these techniques until they became natural, even under pressure. They needed to become a habit that replaced my old habits.
Once that happens, that’s when you start to see the real results.
If you’ve been banging your head against the wall trying to restrict your eating, trying to stop loving sweets so much, trying to lose weight somehow… maybe it’s time to consider some new techniques.
If you are dreading the holiday season because it means a never-ending battle with delicious baking and family gatherings with too much food, maybe you’re willing to learn how to turn those battles into blessings.
In the next little while I’d like to tell you more about the techniques people try, and give you an opportunity to turn the ones that work into your habits. Stay tuned for my next post.
Until then, why not start on the process of getting out of some ruts? Brainstorm three areas of your life where you’ve been trying to get results, but haven’t tried a proven technique yet. Tell me what they are, leave a comment below, and let’s try to find some techniques for you to try.
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Lindsey says
I have been struggling for years to lose weight, trying everything, only getting bigger and more depressed in the process. This is the year I have decided to find what will work for me once and for all, and I still haven’t found it. I struggle to avoid sugar and carbs, I crave them like crazy and I LOVE eating them. Every time I have cut them out for an extended period of time, I always end up going overboard and relapsing.
I also struggle to stay motivated to work out. I love running, I love working out, but I can never seem to find the energy to get out of the house.
I also struggle to control emotional/stress eating.
Jessica Penner says
Hi Lindsey. Thanks for sharing!
When someone tries to limit or cut out a food completely, it usually backfires and the person ends up craving the food all the more! I highly recommend a different approach where there are no “good” or “bad” foods. Food is just food! When you let go of the stigma of certain foods, they lose their forbidden apple type of appeal. You can then learn to freely enjoy them in small quantities. It’s life changing!
Nikki says
Mine are very similar to what you went over above, but I also tend to see the positives as results and not the changes. Even knowing that I do this doesn’t seem to make anything better for me.
Laura says
Hi, this sounded a lot like me and I wanted to try to offer woke advice based on my own experience.
As you say, I’m a carboholic – constantly snacking on sugary and carby junk.
I managed to curb it recently by literally going cold turkey.
So here’s my advice based on what I did:
– Remove all temptation. If snacks are there, you’re gonna eat them. Even my super health conscious boyfriend starts eating junk when it’s constantly available. So clear all cupboards of things you know are bad and put them in the bin. They literally offer you nothing nutritionally and will only harm you. You could keep one snack hidden away for if you genuinely get light headed enough to be concerned, but don’t put it somewhere that’s too easy to just grab as you walk by.
It sounds simple, but just moving things further away, like putting the junk upstairs, means you have to get up to retrieve it, and that can often break the cycle of mindless eating.
– Stock up on fruit and healthy snacks. In the same way you should make the junk unavailable, you should make the healthy snacks (fruit like grapes, etc) easily accessible and on hand.
– Only drink water, tea or coffee, with no sugar or sweeteners. This was a biggie for me. I’d been drinking sugar filled sports drinks all day and all that liquid glucose hits you instantly. It also makes naturally sweet food taste bland. By completely removing all added sugar and sweeteners, you stop giving your body instant sugar hits, levelling out your blood sugar the way it would be naturally. This at first will likely make you feel tired. But that withdrawal is because sugar is so highly addictive. We’re essentially programmed to love it, as it’s such a direct source of the glucose we use to fuel us. In concentrations we’d rarely find in nature. Your calorie craving body thinks it hit the jackpot!
– Realise how bad sugar is for your health. I was already what most would call ‘skinny’ when I quit sugar. So my motivation wasn’t weight loss, it was health. When I discovered how bad sugar is for us in ways other than weight gain (causing a fatty liver and insulin resistance for example) I knew I had to do something drastic to halt the addiction cycle. While weight loss is good motivation, its often easier to accept failure in losing weight as its not seen as a threat. A health scare on the other hand is usually far more likely to motivate you (like my lung damaged uncle who had a heart attack and quit smoking *immediately* after the warning from his doctor that it would soon certainly kill him if he continued). So arming yourself with knowledge on the harmful effects of sugar in such large amounts can be good motivation for change.
– Cut out processed foods simultaneously. By fuelling your body with proper whole foods, you’re going to be fuller for longer, giving you less time to crave snacks. When you do get hungry, you’ll have your healthy snacks and fruit to go to. Whole foods also contain water, which means while they’re more filling, they’re less calorie dense.
– Cold turkey doesn’t mean forever. The idea of going cold turkey is to reset your body through a harsh sudden halt of the offending substance. Once you no longer crave sugar constantly and you’re doing well, it’ll be more of a treat to have something sweet. And if done properly, you shouldn’t really miss sugary foods.
It’s probably best to start at the weekend when you can commit yourself properly and can push through the possible tiredness/withdrawal that you might begin with.
I could babble on all day about it, but hopefully those tips will help you like they helped me, and good luck curing your sugar/carb addiction! 🙂
Tammie says
Hi Jessica,
What is is about our chemistry when one finds things that make us feel great, that we choose not to continue? The biggest rut for me is keeping the ball rolling; continue to work on a plan that has shown some success and not “fall off the wagon” when I start to see results. Healthy diet, exercise regime, and sleep habits are the three that seem to affect each other. When one get’s out of whack, so do the others….resulting in lethargic, low motivation….and the list goes on and on. I totally get focusing on technique rather than results. Success should not be measured in weight loss but all around health (physical and mental). I guess having a cheerleader might help. 🙂
Jessica Penner says
You can do it! You can do it! (I like being a cheerleader!!)
Yes, banking on willpower isn’t usually a successful plan. It eventually fizzles out. And there’s a lot of research into the psychology of motivation… it’s quite fascinating! A lot of the things that we think should motivate us don’t end up being very motivating at all. I’m a big fan of making small changes at a time. Once you get used to a small change in your life, this becomes your new “normal” and you can then make another small change. When you try to change everything at once, it doesn’t usually last 🙂
Audrey says
Brilliant Jessica! I love the focus on techniques and not the result! Absolutely genius!
Jessica Penner says
It’s Jeremy that’s the genius 🙂 I sure married a good one!
Linda says
The 3 things that have me stuck in a rut are; exercise (just a 15 min. walk is hard for me to accomplish), self control (if there sweets in the house I have no will power to stop eating them), I am a carboholic).
Jessica Penner says
Way to go for identifying your challenges! That’s the first step 🙂 Do you have a plan to address them?